


Always Tomorrow

by sonofdvrin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Major Character Injury, and this story is focused on the recovery of said character, but there is a scene that talks about it happening, so if that's not you're thing now is your chance to step away, the story doesn't go into detail about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:35:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27531616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofdvrin/pseuds/sonofdvrin
Summary: Things between Peter and MJ are going great, better than either expected. Not to say that things are easy, but they’re good. It’s not until MJ is accidentally injured during a summer day that everything changes. Peter, blaming himself, does everything he can to try and make things better, but sometimes the best solutions are found when you work with others.
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10
Collections: Fandom Trumps Hate 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [milleniumrex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/milleniumrex/gifts).



> This story has been a labor of love ever since I started working on it for FandomTrumpsHate. This story focuses heavily on MJ's recovery from her injury, and while I did my best to do research and watch videos, I can only write things so well as an able-bodied person. If there's anything in this story that is ableist or is otherwise offensive, please send me a message on Tumblr (@bilbos). I'll be more than happy to fix whatever I need to, in whatever fashion is seen fit. Otherwise, I hope you all enjoy this story!

_ “A life should not be enough to kill you, or keep you from beauty, from the wool of those things that graze in the night. Some things are just night. other things are day. find: a finding of day.” _

_ — Lisa Marie Basile, from “i tell of this part because,“ The Boiler (June 17, 2014) _

It’s been a weird summer for Peter, not to say that he hasn’t had fun. Mostly, having more of his friends know that he’s Spiderman is a weird experience. He’s kept it secret for so long that talking about it in any capacity feels odd, even if Peter knows he doesn’t have to hide things anymore. But he’s slowly been talking more, especially after losing Tony, the one person who he felt really understood everything. The loss has been hard, and he’s still grappling with it, but having his friends there has been extremely cathartic. 

There’s also the fact that he’s dating MJ now, which is also something that he never quite expected to happen. But being with her has been a great experience so far, not that he ever quite expected anything less. She still teases him, and pushes him to be even better now that she knows his secret. And he wouldn’t change that for anything. 

They’re still learning how to be around each other, though, both figuring out the boundaries of what their relationship entails. Not much has really changed, but Peter still wants to know what MJ is comfortable with, and what he needs to back up on. It’s when they’re at the beach when they have their first real conversation. 

“You know, you don’t have to keep getting me things when we see each other,” MJ comments as she sits down on a towel. “It’s not like you have to try and win me over again. Besides, I don’t know what I’ll do with all of this.”

Peter flushes. “Oh, I just wanted to do something nice. But I can stop if you don’t like it.”

“It’s not that I don’t like it, but I really don’t think it needs to be this often,” MJ replies, laughing. “Besides, won’t it feel more special if you don’t do it all of the time?”

“That’s...a really good point,” Peter remarks. “I just feel like I have to prove something, I guess.”

“Well, I’m a sure thing, okay? And there’s nothing to prove, either. You can spend your money somewhere else. Or save it, since we’re supposed to be going to college soon.”

Peter sighs. “I really don’t want to think about that.”

“Nobody really does,” MJ snorts. “But we still have to, although I guess it can wait until school actually starts again.”

“That sounds nice,” Peter whispers. “I don’t mind ignoring it for a couple more months. Not sure if everyone else is going to not mind though.”

“Please, like you’re not going to get into wherever you apply to.”

“I mean, there’s a possibility that I’ll get rejected from everywhere.”

MJ laughs. “You really should stop doubting yourself. Sure, you have your dumb moments, but you’re pretty smart Peter.”

“Oh,” Peter replies, blushing. “Thanks?”

“Enjoy it while you can,” MJ replies, smiling brightly. “Now, let me enjoy my book, okay?”

Peter smiles back, and opens up his tablet. Even with Tony gone, he still does some internship work with Stark Enterprises. It feels weird continuing on his work and not being able to talk to him about it, but Peter does his best. He goes over the new project and tries to figure out the basics.

Before he knows it, the sun is approaching the horizon, and he feels himself starving. He looks over at MJ, and she’s totally engrossed in her book. Peter smiles softly, loving seeing her completely relaxed, especially after the earlier events of the summer. She must sense him looking at her, and looks back, returning his smile.

“What, do I have something on my face?” MJ jokes.

“No, no, you’re good,” Peter replies. “I think we should head out, though, if we want to grab some dinner before going home.”

“You’re probably right,” MJ says, sighing. “Do we want to go to our usual spot?”

“Yeah, of course.”

And with that, they pack up their things, and throw on their clothes before heading to the nearest bus stop. As they make their way back into the city, neither say much. As talkative as Peter can get, he also just enjoys these moments of silence. Just being with MJ is nice, even if they aren’t always doing something or talking. And he knows that he goes overboard sometimes, but he just wants MJ to know that he really cares about her, and since he’s not always the best at talking things out, Peter finds himself falling back on gift giving.

“What are you thinking so hard about, spider boy?” MJ says, snapping Peter out of his thoughts.

“Um, nothing too important,” he says, distracted.

“Yeah, I’m sure about that,” she replies, smirking.

“It’s just - I don’t know. I was just thinking about earlier, you know? Like I want you to know that I care about you,” Peter says softly. “And I guess that’s why I go overboard with the gifts. I don’t want to lose my chance.”

MJ looks at him softly. “I know you care, Peter. You don’t have to give me physical signs of that, you show me in so many other ways. I mean, you let me go on about whatever and just go with it.”

“But anyone would do that.”

“You know not everyone would,” MJ replies. “Why do you think I hardly had any friends before you managed to insert yourself in my life?”

Peter frowns. “I guess you’re right. It’s just...anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.”

“You’re right, even if you might be a little bit biased.”

Peter laughs a little. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am,” MJ replies, smiling brightly. “Looks like our stop is coming up.”

Peter takes that as a sign to let the conversation drop. He’s slowly picked up on some of MJ’s mannerisms since they’ve been together, and he knows when he needs to let something go. It’s hard, since he wants answers for everything, but MJ will tell him things when she’s ready. And so Peter lets it drop as they exit the bus.

After they eat, Peter walks MJ back to her apartment before making his own way back home. May is cleaning dishes when he walks back in, and she gives him a questioning look. He’s normally not out so late without at least telling her first, and after the events of earlier this year, she’s more concerned than normal.

“MJ and I just decided to get dinner,” Peter explains. “And I forgot to tell you about that.”

“I figured, but you know I worry,” May replies. “I’m glad that the two of you are spending so much time together, though.”

Peter smiles softly. “Me too. I’m just...I feel happy when I’m with her.”

May gives him a look, before pulling him into a hug and whispering, “It’s so good to see you smiling again Peter. I missed it.”

“Me too,” Peter says, trying to hold back tears. “It feels good to be happy again.”

May pulls back from the hug and looks him over. “I know things haven’t been easy, but I’m glad they’re getting better for you.”

Peter nods, clenching his jaw in an effort to not let the tears overflow. “Yeah, me too.”

“Now, do you have anything you need to finish for the internship tomorrow?” May asks, obviously changing the subject.

“No, I made sure to look over the plans tonight. And I really doubt I’ll have much to do anyways,” Peter sighs.

May looks at him sadly. “If you say so, Peter.”

He smiles a little, before heading into his room. Peter knows that he doesn’t need this internship, and there’s not much for him to do considering everything that’s happened, but he wants some normalcy in his life. And even though it’s extremely different from what he’s been used to, it’s still something. 

Besides, it’s been nice having a reason to see Happy besides when he and May go on date nights. Keeping any connection to Tony he can has helped more than hindered him in the healing process. Seeing bits of him around have been comforting, especially knowing that some part of him will always live on.

And so the summer continues on in a similar fashion. On days that Peter isn’t working at the internship, he’s off with MJ, and occasionally Ned, to the beach or out exploring the city. It’s fun in a way that Peter never quite expected, but comforts him immensely. Knowing that he can carry on with his life despite the losses is so important to him.

* * *

Even though MJ was the one who confessed her feelings and asked Peter out, she never quite expected the ease of their relationship. Not too much changed between them, even if Peter went a little bit overboard sometimes on the gifts. Even if she doesn’t always admit it, it’s nice being thought of with all the small gifts.

Summer is passing by slowly, and after everything that happened on the school trip, she enjoys the quiet days more than anything. It’s probably why she insists on going to the beach all the time with Peter. Those days always pass by in a way that helps ground her and calm her in a way nothing else has quite managed yet.

On days that she isn’t with Peter or Ned, she often goes walking around the city, losing herself in the chaos of everyday life. It’s easy to blend in and not have to think about where she’s going next. MJ never talks much about those days, but she wouldn’t trade them for anything. They bring about a different type of calm that she can’t find anywhere else.

It’s during one of these days that she stumbles across a new bookshop and decides to take a peek inside. She’s always trying to find new local spots to support, and this one looks promising so far. MJ isn’t sure how long she spends wandering the aisles of books, but she spots an older book all about robotics.

Even though she thinks Peter might not have any use for it, MJ decides to get it for him anyways. It’s nothing extravagant like Peter has gotten for her, but she thinks he’ll appreciate it regardless. At least, that’s what she’s hoping. They have plans for tomorrow, so MJ plans on giving it to him then.

MJ feels excited in a way that she hasn’t felt in a while, and smiles happily as she makes her way back to her apartment. She has a brief moment of panic thinking about whether or not she should wrap the book, but decides against it, thinking that it’d be impractical if they end up going to the beach like they always do.

The following day, as she and Peter head to the beach, MJ can tell that he senses something is up, but doesn’t say anything. And that’s what she appreciates about him the most. Peter never pushes her to say anything earlier than she wants to, knowing that MJ will tell him when she’s feeling ready.

“I got you something,” MJ says softly once they’re seated.

“Oh? You didn’t have to do that,” Peter replies, blushing.

MJ shrugs. “I wanted to do something for you. And it’s not much, just something I came across yesterday.”

She pulls the book out from her bag, and hands it over to him. Peter looks over it for a moment before smiling. Seeing him smile like that eases MJ’s anxiety a little bit.

“This is great, I can’t wait to read it,” Peter replies, softly. 

“I’m glad you like it, I wasn’t sure if you would or not.”

“You got it for me, how could I not like it?”

MJ blushes faintly. “I mean, it’s old, so I don’t know how useful it is.”

“Doesn’t mean I won’t like it,” Peter says with a bright smile. “In fact, I’ll start reading it today.”

MJ snorts. “Glad you’re excited about it.”

“Of course I am,” Peter replies, still grinning happily.

Even though she knew that Peter wouldn’t be mean about it, it still eases something within MJ. True to his word, he starts reading once she’s settled in with her own book. The afternoon passes quickly, as it always does, and by the time Peter has dropped MJ back off at her apartment, she notices that she feels even more content than usual.

Summer continues on in a similar fashion, and before either her or Peter notice, they only have a couple of weeks before school starts up again. Even though MJ is excited to start school again, she’s been enjoying the quiet moments with Peter. Before either of them know it, homework will start piling up, and MJ knows that they’ll have to focus more than ever this year as they apply to universities. 

“We should have one last hurrah at the beach next week with Ned,” MJ comments one day. “I mean, I have no clue how busy we’ll be.”

“Just because school is starting doesn’t mean we won’t spend time with each other,” Peter replies. “But I get what you mean, though. It’ll be nice.”

“Maybe I can convince you to go swimming with me for once,” MJ jokes.

Peter scrunches his nose. “And I still think I’m good.”

“I seriously don’t get why you don’t like swimming. I still think you’re lying about actually knowing how to do it.”

“I  _ do _ know how to swim, but I don’t like it in the ocean. I don’t know what’s out there!”

MJ lets out a laugh. “You’re Spiderman, I think you can fight whatever might be floating out there. I mean, seaweed can be pretty scary.”

“Oh my god,” Peter groans. “It’s just...I don’t know. I just don’t like it. Maybe it’s my spider senses or something.”

“I’m sure it is. But suit yourself, I’ll just go swimming by myself then.”

Peter rolls his eyes before going back to his book. MJ smiles softly to herself, and opens up her book. Even if she knows that everything is going to be a little bit different once school starts, she’s sure that it’ll all work itself out. She has great friends, and she’s determined to make her last year of high school a good one.

The following week, MJ, Peter, and Ned are all at the beach, trying to soak in their last bits of freedom. Neither of the boys want to go swimming, so MJ is set on swimming by herself, even if it’s quick. Peter, however, is looking a bit more concerned than normal, but she tries to brush it off. He’s probably just worried about something at his internship.

“Are you doing okay there?” MJ asks, jokingly. “You’re looking a little nervous there.”

“I’m sure everything is fine it’s just...are you sure it’s safe to swim out there?” Peter inquires. “Like it looks a little dangerous.”

“I’ve gone out there a few times, and nothing has ever happened,” MJ says.

“Peter does seem right,” Ned replies, nervously. 

“Look, I’m really sure that everything is fine. Besides, if anything happens, we have Spiderman with us, don’t we?” MJ says. 

“Just be careful out there. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you,” Peter says nervously.

MJ rolls her eyes. “I promise I’ll be fine. If it makes you feel any better, we can grab a spot by the water.”

Peter frowns a little, but doesn’t say anything. He and Ned set up their spot while MJ gets ready to swim. While she’s sure Peter has reason to be concerned, she’s swam at this beach enough times for her to not worry about it too much. As she makes her way into the water, she promises herself that she won’t be out for too long before coming back in, just to make Peter feel better.

Before MJ knows it, she’s a bit further out than she initially expected, so she starts swimming a bit closer to shore. When she looks over at Peter, he looks confused, like he’s trying to figure something out. Ignoring it, MJ swims a bit more, and decides to dive down in the water, wanting to immerse herself completely in the water.

That’s the last thing she remembers before completely blacking out.

* * *

Peter can tell something is off with the ocean today, but he can’t quite put it into words. He’s worried, mostly because of MJ’s insistence on swimming. He also knows that he shouldn’t be worrying about it so much, especially because he knows that she’s completely capable of taking care of herself.

“She’s going to be fine, right?” Peter asks Ned, as they sit down on their towels. “Like I have nothing to worry about.”

“I mean, the water does look rough,” Ned answers weakly. “But I get what you mean. I know you’re Spiderman, but MJ does seem the most...practical out of all of us.”

Peter snorts. “Yeah, I get what you mean.”

They keep idly chatting for a few minutes, but Peter can feel concern creeping through him. No matter how much he keeps trying to ignore it, something just feels off. He looks back out at the ocean and notices that the waves are getting bigger. MJ gives him a small smile before swimming back in a little bit before diving into the water, only to be followed by a large wave crashing into her.

Peter screams out to MJ, and races out to her as fast as he can. She doesn’t immediately come up, making him panic even more. When Peter finally reaches her, MJ is floating, completely unconscious. He screams out for Ned to call 911, unsure of what else to do. 

He drags MJ back to shore, and she’s still not waking up. Peter isn’t sure what to do, feeling panic completely take over. She’s not moving, and seems to be barely breathing. Hopefully it’s nothing serious, but there’s a sinking feeling in his gut. Whatever is happening, it can’t be good. Ned is talking to him, but Peter can barely process it, unsure of what he should be doing, or if he should even be doing anything at all.

“They should be here soon,” Ned says. “I...do you know what’s wrong?”

“I..fuck, I have no clue,” Peter whispers. 

He can sense a small crowd gathering around them, but he ignores everyone, completely focused on MJ. She’s still faintly breathing, and for a brief moment, it looks like she might wake up. But she continues to lay there, not moving. Peter does his best to keep calm and wait for help, but it’s hard when he doesn’t know what’s happening.

After a few more moments, MJ opens her eyes briefly, looking confused, and then panicked. Peter snaps to attention, ready to do anything that she asks of him. It looks like she’s concentrated on something, likely trying to figure out what happened.

“Peter, why can’t I move?” she whispers. “I...I can’t feel anything.”

HIs eyes widen before he responds. “I’m not sure, but you’re going to be fine, it’ll be fine. An ambulance is coming, and they’ll make everything better.”

That’s all he manages to get in before she passes out again. Now Peter loses all focus, as what MJ says starts to sink in. Surely it’s nothing serious, maybe just a brief side effect of crashing into the water. He refuses to consider the possibility that it’s anything more serious than that, unable to truly understand the implications of what she said.

“Did...did she say what I thought she did?” Ned inquires nervously. “Like, it can’t be that serious, right?”

“I don’t know, Ned,” Peter says, voice breaking. “She has to be fine. It can’t be anything serious. It can’t be.”

Tears threaten to fall from his eyes, as the panic completely overwhelms him. As the seconds pass, Peter starts to think of everything that could go wrong and just hopes that none of it becomes real. Their senior year starts soon, and it’s their last year before they get to enjoy the freedom of university. 

Before he knows it, someone is shaking his shoulder, trying to get him to move. When Peter looks over, there’s a paramedic standing by him. He knows he needs to move, but it takes him a few moments to take those couple of steps back. The paramedic starts doing some basic check-up procedures before asking questions.

“Did you see exactly what happened?” they inquire.

“She was swimming, and decided to take a dive before the wave crashed into her,” Peter explains. “MJ has been unconscious almost the whole time. She woke up briefly to say, um, to say that she couldn’t move anything. And that she couldn’t feel anything, either.”

The paramedic frowns. “This shouldn’t be a surprise, but we’re going to have to take her to the hospital.”

They continue to rattle off information to Peter, who only catches the basics of what’s being said. He knows that he’s going to have to tell MJ’s family about what’s going on, and they’re going to need to know all of this. And if the paramedic looks serious about this, it only heightens his anxiety.

It feels surreal watching the paramedics carry MJ into the ambulance and ride off as quickly as they can. He wants to follow them, and make sure that everything goes well. And he probably could as Spiderman, but Peter also knows he shouldn’t just leave Ned here either. 

“I don’t...what do we do?” Peter asks quietly. “Do we tell MJ’s parents? God, I should call them, it’ll take too long to get to their apartment.”

“Do you want me to talk to them? I can if you need me to,” Ned offers.

“No, no, I can do it,” Peter replies, before pulling out his phone.

It only takes a few rings before MJ’s mom is answering. “Peter, is something going on?”

“I...yeah, um, they’re taking MJ to the hospital. Pretty sure the paramedic said North Shore,” Peter explains. “She got hurt at the beach, but I don’t know how badly. I think they’re going to call you once she gets there.”

“Thank you for telling me,” she says, obviously worried. “I’ll head there now, and keep you updated okay?”

“Of course,” Peter replies quietly, before she hangs up.

Peter sighs, overwhelmed with emotions. Ned brings him into a tight hug, and he leans into the small comfort. He’s not really sure what to do next, knowing that it’s going to be a waiting game before he hears anything from MJ’s mom. As much as he wants to go to the hospital, he also knows that he won’t even be let into her room to see her.

“How about we go back to your place?” Ned says quietly. “And then we can figure out what to do from there.”

Peter nods quietly, and helps Ned pack up their belongings. His heart clenches as he grabs MJ’s things and packs it all up. Nothing quite feels real yet, and he follows Ned in a haze. It’s hard to not succumb to despair, but he knows MJ would hate him if he did. So, Peter does his best to focus on the moment and not think about worst case scenarios. 

“It’ll be okay,” Ned says, more confident than usual. “Things have worked out before.”

Peter smiles softly. “Yeah, but...it’s hard to not worry. I mean, she said she couldn’t move. How can I not be scared out of my mind over this?”

“There’s no use worrying right now. We don’t know what’s wrong with her, and MJ is one of the strongest people I know. She’ll make it out okay.”

“I hope so,” Peter whispers.

When they get to Peter’s apartment, he feels a little bit better, but is still struggling to not let everything overtake his thoughts. May is cooking dinner when they walk in, but she gives them a curious look as they head into Peter’s room to drop everything off. Sighing, he knows that he’ll have to tell May everything.

Over dinner, all May has to do is give Peter a look before he tells her everything. She obviously looks terrified and concerned, but he tries to remain optimistic through it all. If he even allows himself to think about everything that can go wrong...well, Peter knows that he’ll have a hard time keeping positive at all.

“Are you going to be okay?” May asks quietly. “I can’t imagine how horrible this has been for you.”

“I honestly don’t know,” Peter whispers. “Ignoring it isn’t going to help anyone, but the thought of there being something wrong with her...I could have stopped it.”

“This wasn’t your fault, just like it wasn’t MJ’s fault. It’s happened and there’s nothing we can do to change it. All we can do now is keep moving forward and do the best we can.”

Peter feels himself tearing up again, unable to hold back his emotions. May pulls him into a tight hug, and he feels himself fall apart.

“I’m just so scared,” Peter sobs. “I lost Tony already, and I can’t have anything happen to MJ.”

“She’s in some of the best care right now. And MJ is one of the strongest people I know. Whatever happens, she’ll make it out fighting.”

Peter nods before pulling back. “It’s hard just waiting, not knowing what’s wrong.”

“I know it’s hard, and I wish there was more I could do, but right now, it doesn’t help to focus on everything we can’t do.”

Peter sighs, but he knows that May is right.


	2. Chapter 2

_ “I feel a profound loneliness, the kind you feel when you are alone in the beating heart of a crowd.” — Lie With Me by Philippe Besson _

When MJ wakes up, she feels like she’s in a fog. There’s the beeping of machinery all around her, and she’s covered in scratchy blankets. As her mind starts to clear, she starts to realize that she’s in a hospital room. Her heart starts to race, barely remembering the events of the previous day.

“Oh, you’re awake,” her mom, Madeline, says. “I - how are you feeling?”

“I don’t really know. Everything just feels so hazy,” MJ replies.

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Not really? I know that I was at the beach with Peter and Ned, and I went swimming. Everything is just...I don’t even know. I can barely remember a thing,” MJ explains. “What...what happened?”

Madeline lets out a concerned noise. “Well, a wave crashed into you while you were swimming, and then you fell unconscious. Doctor’s are still trying to figure out exactly what’s wrong right now.”

“Is it bad?” MJ whispers.

“I don’t really know. They’re still running tests and they don’t want to say anything before they’re sure. You know how doctors are.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Madeline falls silent after that, and MJ does her best to take in how she’s feeling. She still feels a bit floaty, but that’s probably from the drugs the doctors have given her. But as MJ starts to focus a bit more, she realizes that she can’t feel most of her body. It’s like it’s not even there, and MJ starts to panic.

“Mom, why can’t I feel anything?” MJ whispers, tears falling.

“I - well, that’s what the doctor’s are trying to figure out. It might not be anything serious, they aren’t sure with the crash you had,” Madeline explains. “Just...I’m not really sure either.”

“O-okay,” MJ says, trying to calm down.

But that’s really hard when MJ doesn’t really understand what’s happening. As much as she wants to brush it all off and hope that everything will turn out just fine, it’s difficult to manage. It’s terrifying thinking about the worst case scenarios, even if MJ knows that it might not be the most helpful thing at the moment.

“Do you think it’ll all be fine?” MJ whispers. “Please don’t lie to me.”

“I don’t really know. Peter was so scared when he called me to say that you were going to the hospital. He wasn’t sure what was happening, either,” Madeline answers. “And even if things aren’t perfectly fine, we’re all here for you, okay? No matter what happens.”

MJ nods, tears streaming down her face. “I’m so scared.”

“And you have every right to be. This is a scary situation to be in, sweetheart. But we’re at a good hospital, I’m sure they’ll figure it out.”

MJ takes in a deep breath, trying to gather herself. Her mom is right, whatever happens next, she knows that she has great friends to support her. But there’s no use in overthinking things yet, not when MJ doesn’t have any answers. All she can do at the moment is try and hope for the best.

* * *

It’s been two days since the accident with MJ, and Peter feels himself exhausting himself with worry. Madeline has been keeping him updated the best she can, but they’re still running tests on MJ, trying to figure out what’s wrong. All of the waiting is terrifying because Peter knows it’s because something is wrong. If everything was fine, they would have confirmed it already.

“I don’t even know what to hope for,” Peter tells May one day. “Like...everything seems so horrible at this point that I don’t even know what to really do.”

“You’re getting stuck in your head again. Things never play out like how we hoped for them to, but you’ll be there for her no matter what, right?”

“Yes, of course I will,” Peter says indignantly. 

“Then that’s all that matters. No matter what happens with MJ, she’ll have you, her mom, and so many other people to help her. And that’s all we can hope for right now.”

“I know you’re right, it just scares me that we don’t have an answer yet.”

“But we will, and it’s important to be ready for when we get it. So, you need to take care of yourself so you can best take care of her, okay?”

“You’re right,” Peter groans. “It’s just hard to not worry.”

May smiles a little. “It just means you care for her a lot. Now, go eat some lunch and get your reading for your internship done. Happy has told me that you’ve been slacking.”

“Well-” Peter starts to say.

“It’ll keep you busy. Now go.”

Peter sighs, and grabs something from the fridge before going to his room. It’s hard to focus when there’s so much else he’s stuck thinking on, but May is right. He’s no help to MJ just pacing around his apartment, not doing anything. So it’s best that he best focuses on other things until Madeline can tell him something concrete.

A couple more days pass until Madeline calls Peter again, and he answers it quickly when he notices the caller id.

“Hi,” Peter says. “Is everything okay?”

“Well...I’m not quite sure. They’re pretty sure something is wrong with her spine, which is why she can’t feel anything,” Madeline says, voice rough, as if she had been crying earlier.

“Oh, that’s...that’s not good,” Peter replies, voice cracking. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Do you think you can bring me some lunch? I haven’t had anything to eat besides hospital food and I’d rather have this conversation in person.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Peter hangs up, and grabs his things as fast as he can. He decides to just swing by the deli super quick before heading off to the hospital. The whole time, Peter can’t stop replaying the conversation in his head. If something is really wrong with MJ’s spine, then it means whatever happened is serious. But he does his best to not dwell in all of the different possibilities until he knows exactly what’s wrong.

“Oh, that smells delicious,” Madeline says as Peter comes into the hospital room. “I think I forgot what real food tasted like.”

Peter lets out a small laugh as he hands over the food. He briefly looks over at MJ, but she’s fast asleep, with no sign of waking up any time soon. So, he grabs a seat next to Madeline as she eats the food he brought.

“So, what exactly have the doctors told you?” Peter inquires. “Like...do they know exactly what type of spinal injury?”

“They’re thinking it’s possibly a sustained C4 and C5 injury, but they don’t know exactly what that means,” Madeline explains. “I mean, they know that’s why she can’t feel anything in her body, but they don’t know how permanent it is.”

Peter feels like everything crashes around him. All of his worst fears seem to be coming true and he doesn’t know how to react. This type of injury is life changing and Peter doesn’t know what to do, or where to start.

“I...shit,” Peter whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Madeline says fiercely. “There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this.”

“But I could have stopped her. This would never have been a problem if I was more insistent or kept a better eye on her.”

“We both very well know that MJ is her own person. If she wants to do something, then she’ll do it. And there’s nothing we can do to control nature, either. What’s happened has happened, and we can only move forward now and help her as best we can.”

Peter nods, holding back his tears. “I just...I don’t even know where to start.”

“That’s why we’re here. The doctors are figuring out the next steps, and whatever we have to do, we’ll manage it, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

Madeline nods. “Right now, MJ needs us more than anything. We’ll be there for her.”

“Of course,” Peter whispers. “It’s...just a lot to take in.”

“I know it is, but we have each other.”

Peter smiles softly at that. He does his best to not overthink things, but with this new information, it’s hard not to. But he knows however hard this might be for him, it’s nothing compared to what MJ will have to go through. And all of this really  _ isn’t _ about him in the long run, no matter how terrified Peter is.

Whatever happens next, he knows he’ll support MJ however he can. She’s helped Peter more times than he can count, being there for her right now is the bare minimum of what he should be doing. So, he does his best to focus on what he should be doing to help to avoid overthinking things like he has been.

“You know, I’m glad MJ found you when she did,” Madeline comments softly. “After her dad left, I was worried about her, but the fact that she found you...I’m grateful for that. She’s going to need as much support as possible now, so thank you.”

“I’m just doing what I should be doing,” Peter replies.

“But not everyone would do that, much less someone your age. There’s so many things going on in your life right now.”

Peter shrugs. “I care about her a lot. Only makes sense that I’m here.”

“Still, it’s good to have you here. And I know that she’ll be in good hands with all of her friends.”

“I hope so.”

Madeline smiles. “That’s all we can really do at the moment. Now, the doctors probably won’t have anymore answers today, so you can head on home. I’ll call you if I need anything.”

“Don’t you want a break? Or go to work?”

“I have everything covered, don’t you worry. I’m sure things will only get more busy moving forward and I want to be here as much as possible right now.”

Peter nods. “Call me as soon as you can. And tell MJ I came by?”

“Of course I will. Now, get some rest.”

Peter smiles, and then heads back home. He’s not really sure what to make of everything right now, especially with everything Madeline told him. There’s not much he can really do at the moment, but Peter still feels restless, and it takes everything for him to not spiral into an obsessive spiral. No matter what he might be feeling, he knows that he has to be there for MJ and make sure to focus on her. She’s going to be the one struggling through this, so Peter throws himself back into his internship.

“Peter, are you sure you’re doing okay?” Happy inquires the following day. “You’ve just been...more intense than usual.”

“Yeah, of course I’m fine,” Peter mumbles. “I just need something to focus on right now, I guess.”

Happy gives him a look. “I know what’s happening with MJ is hard, and I’m here for you, alright? You’re allowed to be angry and upset about everything.”

“I have to be there for her because this isn’t  _ about _ me, okay?” Peter shouts. “I can’t make this about me.”

“Just because MJ is the one going through this right now doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel things, Peter. There’s so much to take in.”

“It’s just...hard because I want everything to magically work out, but I know it doesn’t work like that. That’s not what real life is.”

Happy shrugs. “Doesn’t mean we don’t want to hope for the best. And you have me and May there for you, and there’s no doubt that Ned will be there for you too. Whatever the next steps are, we’ll take them together.”

“Thank you,” Peter whispers, right before Happy pulls him into a hug.

“I’ll always be here for you, kid,” Happy says softly. “Now, what have you been staring at for the last five minutes? Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

Peter lets out a short laugh before talking Happy through his current project. It’s a small distraction, but it works since Peter leaves feeling lighter than he has all week. Even though it feels like a betrayal to MJ to feel anything other than suffering or anger right now, Peter knows that she wouldn’t want him to be like this. When he tells May this, she smiles sadly.

“She’s going to be leaning on you and Madeline a lot in the coming months, and you need to be at your best for that,” May explains. 

“I know you’re right, but I don’t know why it’s so hard,” Peter whispers.

“We can’t control how we feel about things, but how we act is just as important.”

Peter smiles a little. “All I want is to do the best I can for her.”

“And you will because you’re a good person, Peter.”

“I hope so.”

May brings him into a hug, and lets the subject drop. She’s right, though, because Peter knows that he’ll do his best to help MJ, no matter what. He just hopes that he can be enough for MJ with whatever is coming next.

* * *

When MJ wakes up next, she knows whatever news her mom has to tell her isn’t good news. And maybe she was stupid for being hopeful, but it’s hard to try and not be optimistic about things. There was a small part of her that thought this might all be a fluke, and everything would be fine after sitting in the hospital for a week, but an even bigger part of her knows that would never happen.

“Please just tell me what it is, mom,” MJ says softly. “I just need to hear it, okay?”

“I - well, you have a spinal cord injury that’s paralyzed your body,” Madeline explains shakily. “They think physical therapy should help, but it’s a very long process to get back to remotely normal with your type of injury. But it’s possible.”

MJ can feel tears and a wave of panic start to wash over her. This...while it might have been a possibility in the back of her mind, she never really expected  _ this _ . She’s not even really sure how to process what her mom told her in all honesty.

“Oh,” is all MJ manages to say.

“I’m sorry that I don’t have better news for you, sweetie. But the doctors are fairly certain about all of this,” Madeline says, tears rushing down her face. 

“I don’t - I’m not even sure what to say,” MJ whispers. “I’m so dumb for going swimming. Peter told me not to.”

“This is  _ not _ your fault,” Madeline says fiercely. “Neither of you could have predicted this. All of this was just an accident and you can’t blame yourself for it.”

“I know, but...this would have never happened if I just decided to stay put for once,” MJ cries. “I’m sorry, mom.”

“Baby, you have nothing to apologize for. We just have to move forward from here and make the best of the situation we were given, okay?”

MJ nods. “I guess so.”

“Now, Peter will be coming by soon and I’ll give you some privacy to tell him everything. He’s been coming by a lot and he’ll be happy to see that you’re awake.”

“Okay,” MJ whispers.

A nurse swings by a bit later and does a check-up on MJ and says that a doctor will be by in the evening to talk about all of the next steps. All of it feels so overwhelming and she doesn’t really know how to take this all in, but she does her best. By the time Peter comes by, MJ has managed to calm herself a little bit.

“How are you holding up?” Peter inquires as Madeline leaves the room. “That’s probably a dumb question but…”

“I honestly don’t know,” MJ answers. “The doctors think that I could recover with physical therapy, though. But it obviously takes a long time.”

“Fuck,” Peter whispers. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.”

“I think we’re both sorry about that.”

“I know, it’s still hard.”

MJ smiles a little. “The important thing is that they think I can get better, though. And that’s what matters the most right now.”

“Right, of course,” Peter says, before looking slightly panicked. “I...shit, are you going to need help with school? I didn’t even think about that.”

“I didn’t either,” MJ replies, frowning. “I’m sure my mom can figure things out, but I don’t know if school is going to be my top priority for a little while.”

“Yeah, of course not, and it shouldn’t be. But I’ll help you however you need it, okay? I’m here for you.”

“Mom said you would be. She also said you came by a lot to visit.”

Peter shrugs. “I couldn’t  _ not _ visit you, MJ. There’s nothing else I could do to help you, so I just did what I could.”

“I appreciate the company,” MJ jokes.

This brings a small smile to Peter’s face. She can tell that he’s been hard on himself, as she notices the dark circles and slightly more antsy energy Peter is carrying around. MJ is glad to have Peter, though, knowing that he’ll always have her back.

They sit there talking for a little while, even after Madeline comes back. Peter mostly talks about his internship and the things he’s working on. Right now, he’s mostly focused on some of Tony’s old designs that he never got to finish. She can tell that the loss is still hurting him, but he’s trying his hardest to not let it show.

“I should get going,” Peter says regretfully. “I told May I’d be back by dinner time. I promise I’ll visit as much as I can, okay?”

“I’ll see you soon,” MJ replies as Peter packs up his bag.

Once he’s left, MJ lets out a sigh. During Peter’s whole visit, she had started to become aware of all the ways she couldn’t move anymore. It felt weird to not move her hands to try and explain things, or when she can’t shift herself into a different position, not that MJ would be able to feel a difference. But it’s still jarring, and the reality of it all is starting to set in.

It’s not too much later that the doctor comes in to talk more about the next steps. 

“Well, it’s good to see you awake,” the doctor says. “I’m Doctor Smith, and I’ve been the one helping you figure everything out so far. Now, I’m sure you heard something about physical therapy?”

“Yeah, my mom told me a bit this morning,” MJ replies.

“Now, with your type of injury, it takes a long time to recover, if it’s even possible. But we like to think that you have a chance with at least some type of mobility recovery, even if it’s not a full one,” Doctor Smith explains. “With how intense it is, however, you won’t be able to do in person classes, but I’m sure the school can work with an online program.”

MJ nods in understanding. “So there’s a chance I can recover?”

“Of course, but we also don’t want to get your hopes up. There’s always a chance that this won’t work, but we can discuss those options once we’re sure that no progress is being made,” Doctor Smith says. 

“Right, makes sense,” MJ replies. “When can I start?”

“We need to keep you here for observation a little bit longer, but we should be able to move you to PT in a week at the latest. Now, if you have any questions, you can always ask myself or one of the nurses.”

MJ nods, and Doctor Smith hands over some paperwork to Madeline. It feels jarring at first before she remembers that she wouldn’t be able to grab it anyways. Realizing this only starts to set in feelings of overwhelming anxiety even more. With every interaction, MJ realizes even more things that she won’t be able to do anymore. Once the doctor leaves, Madeline looks over at MJ with an obvious look of worry.

“We’ll get through this just fine,” Madeline says, trying to be confident. “And I wish I could do more for you, but…”

“I’m sure everything will work out just fine,” MJ whispers. “There’s a chance that I'll be better eventually, and it’ll all be fine.”

Madeline smiles a little before reading over the paperwork, and filling MJ in on everything that it says. It’s hard to not feel completely at a loss, but MJ does her best to try and remain optimistic. She’s managed just fine with so many other things in her life, and while this isn’t quite the same, she knows she has to hold onto any shred of hope she can find.

Things start to become more hectic after that as MJ starts to navigate the healing process, while also trying to figure out how to manage her senior year of high school. Despite the teachers being understanding of what she’s going through, she still has plenty of school work to keep up with. Peter does his best to help out, but it’s obvious that MJ is worried about physical therapy.

At first, MJ is caught off-guard by the fact that she isn’t trying to use any of her limbs at first. She figured that’s what would make the most sense since that’s why she’s there in the first place. But the physical therapist explains that sometimes the muscles need to be moved around in ways that MJ can’t quite manage yet.

It makes sense, but it also leaves MJ feeling impatient. When she notices herself getting frustrated with her apparent lack of progress there, she throws herself into her school work. Even with Peter’s help, she still can’t do things on her own, leaving her waiting for someone to stop by to help her with the assignments she has.

“You know, nobody would look down on you if you needed to pause school for a while,” Madeline says one night. “The most important thing is focusing on getting better, and while school is important, it might not be all that helpful at the moment. Besides, you have enough credits to take some time away, anyways.”

“I know you’re right,” MJ whispers. “But it feels like I’m giving up. And I know I’m not, but it’s like I’m admitting defeat.”

“But you won’t be. I can tell that you’re absolutely exhausted and focusing on your healing is more important right now.”

“Okay,” MJ sighs, giving in.

Things become a little bit easier after that, but MJ is still feeling overwhelmed. Now that she has more time to just focus on physical therapy, she also starts to struggle with the progress she’s making. Despite the doctors and therapists telling her that it’ll be a slow progress to recovery, MJ is still frustrated that things aren’t working out like how she imagined them to.

“I just don’t know what to do,” MJ tells Peter one night. “I knew that I wouldn’t magically get better, but I thought everything would just be moving faster than this.”

“I wish I could do something more to help,” Peter says. “But you’re doing so good, and if the doctors aren’t concerned, then it won’t hurt to still be hopeful.”

MJ sighs. “Everyone keeps telling me that, but I guess it’s just hard because I don’t have any framework for this type of thing. I don’t know anyone else who’s gone through this, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” Peter replies. “But you know I’m always here whenever you need to complain. It’s not much, but I’ll be here for you.”

“Thank you,” MJ whispers.

After that conversation, she notices that Peter comes by with small gifts and letters from people more often after that. She knows that he’s trying his best to make her feel better, but it stings a little. All of it is a reminder of all the things she’s missing out on right now due to her recovery. As much as MJ knows that what she’s doing is necessary, it still doesn’t mean she’s sad about not being in the place she was expecting to be right now.

As the days continue on, MJ starts becoming more and more frustrated with her lack of progress. She knows that recovery isn’t meant to be easy, especially with her type of injury, but she was still expecting  _ something _ at this point. And it’s hard to not let her bitterness seep into other parts of her life.

“Peter, this isn’t helping!” MJ snaps one evening as he drops off another gift. “None of this matters!”

“I - um, I’m sorry,” Peter stammers, his face falling. “I thought it might help, but I can stop doing this if you don’t like it. I didn’t realize that you didn’t like it.”

“It’s just...this isn’t helping me get better,” MJ says, tears silently streaming down her face. “I’m not getting any better and I can’t even do anything with what you’re giving me. All I can do is stare at it because I can’t fucking move.”

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t think this through,” Peter apologizes, coming over to wipe away her tears.

“I - well, none of this is really your fault, but it’s just another reminder that I can’t move,” MJ whispers. “And I’m not making any progress in physical therapy and I think they’re going to tell me any day now that I can’t get better.”

“Maybe you just haven’t been able to notice the progress?” Peter says, hopeful.

MJ laughs bitterly. “I think I would have noticed at this point.”

“Like I’ve said before, whatever happens next, I’ll be here to help.”

“Okay,” MJ says softly.

Her next physical therapy appointment is a couple of days later, and MJ knows that something is off when Madeline brings her into a different room than usual. As much as she figured a serious conversation was going to happen, she can still feel her heart drop, scared to have her suspicions confirmed. There’s still a small part of her that’s hoping that maybe she’s overthinking everything, despite everything suggesting otherwise.

Her physical therapist and Doctor Smith come into the room not too much longer, and both look rather somber. This only goes on to further confirm MJ’s suspicions, and it hurts, despite all of the time to try and get used to the thought that she would never fully recover from the injury. 

“Well, MJ, I’m supposing you can guess why you’re here,” Doctor Smith says. “We’ll run a couple of tests to confirm, but it seems your progress isn’t quite what we were expecting it to be, especially at this point. Not to say that things can’t heal later, but it’s highly unlikely.”

“Right, of course,” MJ replies, choking back her tears. 

“What do we have to do next?” Madeline inquires, voice breaking. 

“After we run a couple of diagnostic tests to confirm that MJ’s injury is functionally complete, we can talk about our options. There’s plenty of ways to start creating a new daily routine, but it’ll take a long time to get used to if we’re being honest,” Doctor Smith explains. “And I would also suggest therapy to talk through everything as well.”

“Okay,” Madeline replies faintly. “When’s the soonest we can get in for those diagnostic tests?”

And with that, MJ is set to go into the hospital the following week to confirm everyone’s suspicions. Despite having a feeling that this was coming, she’s still hurt and angry that the possibility of a full recovery is no longer an option. She knows that people like her live very happy lives, but she still just feels bitter.

When Peter comes to visit the following day, MJ tells him this through her tears, thinking about how her life has completely shifted. It hurts to talk about it as a fact now instead of a likely possibility, but she gets through it, letting everything out.

“I just feel horrible for being angry because I know that there are people out there like me who are happy,” MJ sobs. “But I’m just so fucking angry.”

“You have every right to be angry,” Peter consoles. “This is all so new to you, and there’s so much we’re all going to have to get used to. But we’ll all get through it together, okay? You, me, and your mom will figure it out.”

MJ smiles a little. “I wish things didn’t turn out like this.”

“But they did, and we’ll make the best of it. I know it’s not much, especially right now, though.”

“I know you’re right, I guess it’s just hard to imagine my future now. I have to readjust everything I thought I was going to end up doing. Whatever my plans were...they’re going to look very different now.”

“Well, I’ll help you figure that out however I can.”

* * *

Seeing MJ struggle with the confirmed diagnoses of a functionally complete injury is hard for Peter. He knows that she’s the one trying to work through everything, so he doesn’t truly know how difficult things are, but he still feels at a loss sometimes. There’s so much that he wants to do to help, but he just isn’t sure how.

Not too long after the doctors ran their diagnostic tests, MJ re-enrolled in school, so Peter does his best to help with her school work. Despite the long days, he knows that he wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. This is the least Peter can do to help, so he continues to do the best that he can.

“Are you sure there’s nothing we can do to help?” Happy inquires one day as Peter swings by Stark Industries. “I’m sure there’s something we can do to help support the both of you.”

“I wish, but MJ is still trying to figure everything out, you know? Like it’s a huge adjustment for her trying to find out what her new day-to-day life looks like,” Peter explains. “And they’re going to try a type of wheelchair with her soon, anyways.”

“Okay, if you say so. But just remember that you aren’t in this alone.”

“I know, Happy, I just don’t want to overwhelm her anymore, either. Like there’s already so much going on…”

“Makes sense, kid. And don’t worry about coming in if things get too much. There’s always a spot here for when you need it.”

Peter smiles softly before heading out. As sure as he is about Tony possibly hiding some useful tech around the tower somewhere, he also knows it’s not really needed right now. MJ has enough on her plate to try and figure out without throwing some crazy tech around that might not even be helpful in the long run. So, Peter keeps helping as much as he can.

A week later, Madeline texts him saying that MJ has finally been set up with the wheelchair Peter had heard about. Excitedly, he tells Madeline that he’ll be over a bit later with some dinner, as well as some paperwork he picked up for MJ’s classes. He’s interested to learn how the wheelchair works, as well as if he can do anything to help make things easier with it.

A couple of hours later, Peter shows up with food in tow and Madeline warmly welcomes him into the apartment. MJ is in the living room, sitting in the new wheelchair, and she smiles softly when she sees Peter standing in the doorway.

“Pretty fancy, huh?” MJ asks, laughing a little. “It’s a lot to get used to, especially moving around the apartment, but it seems to be working out pretty well so far.”

“That’s amazing,” Peter answers, smiling brightly as he sets down the food. “I’m glad that it’s working out for you.”

“They also gave me a stick type thing to help with my phone and turning pages, too. It means I won’t have to wait for you or mom to help me with school work as much,” MJ explains, returning Peter’s smile. “I know it’s not much - but this is so much more than before.”

Over dinner, Madeline and MJ explain in more detail how the wheelchair works. Apparently all MJ has to do is blow into the straw for her to be able to move. Peter is sure that there’s more to it than that, but just seeing MJ gain some semblance of freedom back makes him extremely excited. He knows how hard it’s been on her to not be able to do anything on her own, so to have this is huge.

Hearing MJ talk with happiness in her voice also feels monumental to Peter. He saw how hard things have been getting for her, and the rightful anger that she felt slowly building up. And even if this isn’t exactly what MJ had been hoping for, it’s still exciting to know that MJ is making strides forward.

* * *

MJ is thrilled to have the ability to move around the apartment again. Despite still needing help with plenty of basic tasks, she’s still thrilled to have some semblance of independence. It gives her something to do while her mom is at work besides mindlessly listening to lectures and podcasts all day. She never imagined that being able to read a textbook on her own would be so exciting.

Even if the wheelchair and mouthpiece for her textbook and phone are a lot to get used to at first, MJ feels happy again. Being able to work towards something and making tangible progress fills her heart up. As hard as things still are, she holds onto the positives much more tightly now, knowing how difficult things were before.

“I’m just so happy to see you smiling again,” Madeline says one day. “I was worried for a long time, but it’s so good to see.”

“It feels good to have something to be happy about,” MJ replies honestly. “And...I mean, it’s good to have stuff to work towards that I’m capable of. The therapy doesn’t hurt either, even if it’s hard to talk to her sometimes.”

Madeline smiles softly. “As long as it’s working, then I’m glad. Now, how are classes going? Are you sure you’re able to pick up where you left off? The district said you could always make a class or two up in the summer and it wouldn’t hold you back.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Peter and Ned have been helping me a lot. Plus the teachers have been really great about everything.”

“Well, it’s always an option if things get to be too much.”

“I know, mom. But I think I’ll manage for now.”

Madeline lets it drop, knowing that MJ has something else to focus her energy on besides her injury. There’s days where MJ feels like everything is too much, but having another distraction available is good to have. It’s a nice alternative to realizing that so many of her peers are also applying to universities right now on top of everything else. Peter and Ned have avoided the subject all together, knowing that it’s not really a welcome subject at the moment. 

As the days and weeks start to pass, the novelty of being able to move around the apartment wears off on MJ. Even though she has more mobility than before, it’s still difficult to accept that there are so many small things she still can’t do on her own. Something like going to the bathroom or eating are things that MJ has to ask for help to do, and nothing can quite make up for that.

On the especially hard days, MJ talks out her feelings with her therapist, knowing that she isn’t quite ready to admit her anger to the people closest to her. Admitting it makes her feel like she’s being ungrateful about the things she’s been given, knowing that so many people in her position don’t always get the resources she has. MJ knows that she’s lucky, so she tries her best to make the most of the small things, but some days are harder than others.

“It’s just...I feel like I don’t have the right to be angry,” MJ tells her therapist. “Like I know I have it good that I can even afford any of this, you know? My mom tries to hide how expensive all of this is, and I know that she’s had help paying all of the bills, but...I don’t really know how to put it all into words.”

“You’ve heard me say this before, but you can be angry over this MJ. Yes, you have access to resources some people in your position don’t ever get to have. But you also had your entire life changed in just a singular moment,” her therapist explains. “Whatever plans you had are going to look drastically different now, and it’s hard to navigate the world as a disabled person.”

MJ lets out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, I know you’re right, but hearing it over and over again, it’s kind of lost it’s touch.”

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt to try and connect with other people in your situation. I know you love your mom and your friends, but they don’t truly understand what you’re going through. At least, not in a way that someone else in your position would.”

“I suppose so,” MJ says quietly. “I’ll think about it.”

Her therapist smiles a little, and thankfully lets the subject drop. MJ thinks about connecting to others for a couple days, though, but doesn’t do anything about it. She knows she could look things up on her phone, but even with what the doctors gave her, MJ still finds it a little difficult to use it. And she doesn’t even want to think about someone else doing it for her, not when she has to be helped with so many other things.

Eventually, all of the pressure and frustration starts to overtake any hope MJ has originally built up. Even though she tries to be happy and grateful for what she has, it’s hard to not reflect on the things MJ has lost in the moments where she has nothing to occupy her time. Normally, she would go and explore the city in quiet moments like this, but that’s not really a possibility right now.

Peter notices that MJ has been more withdrawn when he visits her one night after dinner to bring over some books. He looks hesitant to say anything at first, but builds up the courage after a little while.

“Is there anything else I can do? Or do better?” Peter asks. “I just want to make sure that you’ve got everything you need.”

“Unless you can fix me, I don’t think so,” MJ answers bitterly. “I can’t fucking do anything anymore and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

Tears start streaming down MJ’s face, and Peter immediately comes over to brush them away. This only makes her cry more, knowing that she can’t even do this herself. As much as she’s been given, it’s the small things that MJ has grown to miss doing the most. It hurts, and only furthers her frustrations.

“I just hate that I can barely do anything I could do before,” MJ says, voice rough from crying. “I hate this so much.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do more,” Peter whispers. “I’ll try and figure something out, I promise.”

MJ nods, and lets herself continue to cry.


	3. Chapter 3

_ “She did not want to move, or to speak. She wanted to rest, to lean, to dream. She felt very tired.” — Virginia Woolf _

Even though Peter knows he’s done everything he can to help MJ, he still feels like there’s more he should be doing. Seeing how distraught she was over not being able to do so many basic tasks made him feel frustrated. He can’t even begin to imagine how hard everything has been for MJ the past few months.

She’s had to adjust to so many different things in such a short span, and despite her current anger, Peter feels like MJ has handled everything amazingly. Considering everything, she has every right to feel angry, especially when everyone around her is continuing to live their lives like normal. 

It’s not until he’s at his internship again that Peter starts thinking about what he can do to really help MJ. Even though he’s been helping her a lot with her classes, that’s only a small fraction of her life now. And he’s certain that he could figure something else out, especially considering all of the technology that he’s surrounded by on a daily basis.

“Hey, kid, how are you holding up?” Happy inquires one day. “You’re looking a bit more tired than usual.”

“I’m doing okay, I’m just trying to figure something out for MJ,” Peter replies. “Do you think Tony might have had something in the archives that could help her?”

“Like...a suit?”

“Yeah, or something like it.”

“I’m actually not sure. But have you thought about asking Rhodey? I know that Tony built him his exoskeleton. If anyone would know, it would be him.”

“Is he going to be around any time soon?”

Happy shrugs. “I can ask. Besides, I’m sure Rhodey would love to stop and chat for a while. And he can always talk to MJ, too, if she has any questions.”

“Thank you, Happy, that would be great,” Peter says with a small smile.

When Peter leaves to head back to his place, he lets himself hope a little bit. Sure, a suit or exoskeleton wouldn’t be the answers to all of MJ’s problems. There would still be a lot for her to navigate, but Peter can imagine that it would help more than anything she has right now. Even then, Rhodey would probably know what to do more than Peter would.

“What’s got you looking all happy?” May asks as Peter walks into the apartment. “I don’t think I’ve seen that smile for a while.”

“Today was just a good day, I guess,” Peter replies. “I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I might have found a way to help MJ. Happy says they might have some exoskeletons from when Tony helped Rhodey.”

“Oh, wouldn’t that be nice,” May says, smiling. “But it’s not certain?”

“No, not yet. I’m not sure when Rhodey would be able to come by, but Happy said he’d do his best to get him out here,” Peter explains. 

“Well, I’m glad we have that to look forward to.”

Peter smiles brightly. “Me too.”

Over the next few days, Peter doesn’t hear anything about Rhodey, so he makes sure to not let anything slip to MJ. As much as he wants to say something to her, he knows that it wouldn’t be smart to get her hopes up about something that might not even happen. So, he just continues on with his daily routine. 

About a week later, Peter is intensely looking over some of Tony’s old work, trying to figure out the logistics of it all when Rhodey stops by. Peter doesn’t even notice him at first, too caught up in the work that’s right in front of him.

“You know, you remind me of Tony when you get all intense like that,” Rhodey jokes, startling Peter.

“Oh hi Rhodey, sorry about that,” Peter says, laughing a little. “I - uh, I guess Happy told you about my question?”

“A little bit, but I don’t think I really have the full story yet,” Rhodey replies.

Peter takes that as an invitation to explain everything starting from the very beginning. It might be a little bit too much information, but Peter figures it’s best for Rhodey to have as many details as possible. Rhodey patiently listens, nodding throughout the whole story. Once Peter’s finished, he asks the question he asked Happy.

“So, I guess all of that to ask if you think Tony might have something in the archives to help MJ,” Peter says.”I know it might be a long shot, but I thought it was worth asking anyways.”

“I would love to help you and I wish there was an easy answer, but MJ and I are in very different spots. I had an incomplete paralysis of my legs, and she’s completely paralyzed from the shoulders down,” Rhodey explains. “Any tech that Tony would have designed for me wouldn’t work for MJ.”

“Right, of course. That makes sense,” Peter says, feeling his anxiety creep up again.

“I wish I had a better answer for you, but there’s nothing we have on hand that would help in a way that would be useful. Besides, there’s never a miracle solution with these types of solutions. It always takes looking at what a person needs, and going from there.”

“I guess there’s a part of me that knew. It was just...the thought of having something that could help MJ more than what she has made me excited,” Peter says, sighing. “I just want to make everything better.”

“It’s hard to not get excited about it, but helping someone who is in a position like MJ and I are...it’s not easy. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a solution out there,” Rhodey explains. “And it might not look like her getting an exoskeleton and moving around like nothing ever happened. No two solutions are exactly the same.”

Peter sighs. “You’re right, and I know that you’re right. It’s just hard to not get stupidly hopeful, you know? Like I just want to fix it all because I still feel guilty, I guess.”

“I know it’s hard, especially since it happened so recently, but Tony had faith in you for a reason. If anyone can figure out how to help MJ, it’s you,” Rhodey says. “Now, do you think she might be interested in talking with me about her injury? I know it’s a sensitive topic and I’m just some old guy, but it can be hard to find other people to talk to.”

“I can ask her next time I see her,” Peter replies.

“Okay, kid, I’ll give you my number. And don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions you might have, either.”

“Thanks, Rhodey.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t have the answers you wanted, but I hoped this helped, at least a little bit.”

“Yeah, it did. I’m sure I’ll figure something out.”

* * *

MJ notices that Peter seems a little bit off when he comes to visit her. He seems a bit distracted, and it’s making her feel a bit anxious, unsure of what’s going on. As much as she wants to ask him what’s going on and insist on him saying what’s wrong, MJ also knows that Peter will tell her when he’s ready. In the end, she doesn’t have to wait long for an answer. 

“So, uh, I talked with Rhodey yesterday,” Peter says as they work on homework.

“He’s Tony’s friend, right? Did he have Spiderman stuff for you?” MJ inquires, laughing a little bit.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Peter answers. “Well, about the friend thing, not the Spiderman stuff. He knows I’m focusing on school right now. But, uh, I was talking to him because he’s paralyzed too.”

“Oh,” MJ says, unsure of what else to say.

“I hope you’re not mad at me for this, but I wanted to talk to him to see if he knew of any tech that might help you,” Peter explains. “I obviously don’t have access to everything Tony made, but I figured if anyone knew of something that might help, Rhodey would know.”

“And...did you find anything?” MJ asks, trying to not sound hopeful.

Peter frowns. “I - no, I didn’t. Rhodey said his injury is different enough from yours that anything Tony made for him wouldn’t help you. I’m really sorry, MJ, but I thought there might be  _ something _ .”

“I appreciate you looking anyways,” MJ says softly.

The thought of having Stark approved tech to assist her had never been something MJ had thought of before this conversation, so she doesn’t know why she feels so heartbroken over it. Having something like that could have been such an easy fix, but things haven’t been easy this far anyways. She appreciates Peter thinking about it, though, even if nothing has come of it.

“I really wish I had a better answer for you,” Peter whispers. “Rhodey did say he was always open if you wanted to talk, though. He knows how hard it is to adapt to life after an injury like yours, even if it isn’t exactly the same.”

MJ snorts. “My therapist did tell me that I had to talk to people like me sooner or later.”

“I can leave his number if you want it,” Peter offers. “It’s not much, but I think having someone like Rhodey in your corner is a good thing.”

“That would be great,” MJ says, smiling softly. 

They continue on their school work in companionable silence, both clearly not wanting to talk about MJ’s injury any further. So much of their time together recently has been focused on making sure she was doing okay that MJ appreciated the moments where they didn’t have to think about the injury at all. Even though school has been difficult to adjust to, even with all of the adjustments, it’s nice to have something to fill her time.

A couple of days pass before MJ decides to call Rhodey. She’s hesitant at first, partially because she doesn’t want to interrupt whatever he does, but also because she knows their injuries are different. In the end, she calls him to leave a voicemail asking when he could come visit her. MJ knows that out of anyone in her life right now, Rhodey is her best bet of truly understanding her struggles.

Rhodey comes to visit about a week later, and MJ feels nervous, unsure of what to really say or do at first. As they get situated, she thinks about what to say or ask first, as she goes over her mental list of things she wrote down.

“I’m glad I could stop by,” Rhodey comments as he sits on the couch. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be interested in talking or not.”

“I wasn’t sure at first, to be honest. I know it’s important that I talk to other people in a similar situation, but…”

“It just makes everything feel more real?”

“Yeah, exactly. And it’s not like I don’t realize this is a very real situation, but I’m still just taking everything in, I guess,” MJ explains.

Rhodey smiles softly. “It still hasn’t been too long since your injury, so it makes sense that you’re taking it all in. Even for me, it took a long time to accept that I would never walk on my own again.”

“How did you cope? Because I feel like I keep pushing everything to the side, even though I know it’s not healthy.”

“Everything about your life is different now and you’re living so differently to how you were before. And this was never something you ever expected your life to be,” Rhodey comments. “It takes a long time and a lot of therapy to get to a point where you’re okay with how everything has turned out.”

“I know you’re right, but it just feels so hard right now.”

“And it probably will feel like that for a while yet. I wish I had better answers, that everything will just magically work out, but I think we both know that’s not quite how things work.”

“Yeah, I know,” MJ says softly. “It’s just a lot to get through.”

Rhodey ends up staying for a couple of hours as they talk about everything that comes to MJ’s mind. She asks a lot about the recovery process, and how he dealt with suddenly not being able to do things he previously couldn’t. They also have a long conversation about how even with Tony’s tech that was given to him, it didn’t solve all of Rhodey’s problems. He makes it clear that there’s more to recovery than just being able to physically do everything again.

By the time he ends up leaving, MJ is feeling a bit better. Sure, it was a little disheartening to know that her recovery will be a lifelong journey, but being able to talk to someone about it who truly got her felt nice. It also felt nice talking to someone who had access to everything he needed to get better, including the exoskeleton, and still struggled with adjusting to his daily life again. 

Peter seems to pick up on the change in demeanor when he comes to visit a couple of days later.

“You seem happy today,” Peter states.

“Uh, yeah, Rhodey came by recently,” MJ explains. “We had a good talk about everything and it just felt good talking to someone like me.”

Peter smiles brightly. “Well, I’m glad that helped.”

“Hopefully it’s enough to get through the calculus homework I’m assuming you brought over,” MJ jokes.

“We’ll see about that,” Peter replies, rolling his eyes.

* * *

Even though he knows that MJ has been feeling better after her conversation with Rhodey, Peter can still see her struggling. There’s moments where he notices that MJ gets lost in her head a little bit, and it’s hard for him to feel like he can really do anything to help. Peter doesn’t want to push her too much, or ask too much of her either, but he’s never quite sure what to do.

Peter has always loved doing physical things to show his affection, it’s why he always bought gifts for MJ at the beginning of their relationship. And now he wants to give her something to help her, but it’s hard when he doesn’t even really know where to start. It’s not until he brought home some of Tony’s old tech that he’s struck with an idea.

According to Happy, the bots were meant to be voice activated switches for tech Tony was working on, but everything got scrapped when he didn’t like where it was all going. Now all that’s left with them are just the frames, and a couple of the wires. Originally, Peter was going to rebuild them exactly as Tony imagined, but he wondered if they could be remade to work into MJ’s life.

More than ever, Peter knows that the lack of independence has been one of the hardest adjustments for MJ to make. Not that she isn’t grateful for the things she’s gained, like the wheelchair, but there’s so many small tasks that MJ still struggles with. This voice activated tech could give some of her independence back, even if it’s a couple of small tasks.

He ends up bringing them to his internship the following day to ask Happy all of his questions, and to also make sure that Tony wouldn’t haunt him for changing the purpose of the bots. As sure as he is that Tony couldn’t care less, Peter still feels the need to make sure first.

“What did you bring the bots back for? Are they not working like they should be?” Happy inquires, obviously confused.

“No, they should be fine, I just had a few questions,” Peter replies.

“I don’t know if I’m the right person for tech questions. I could see if someone else could help,” Happy says.

“Uh, well, no, they’re not tech questions. Just...how you think Tony might react to some ideas I had for them.”

“I guess I can help there. What is it that you had in mind? Because I’m sure that Tony more than likely would not care what you did with them.”

“It’s just...I was thinking I could use parts of the bots to help MJ,” Peter says, obviously hesitant. 

“You really think Tony would care about that? I’m sure he would be insisting you do that,” Happy replies. “We all know how much he wanted to help other people.”

“I know, I just...I don’t know. I guess I feel like I have to preserve everything now that he’s gone,” Peter says softly. 

“I get it, I really do, but Tony had already scrapped these, there never was another plan for these. So feel free to use them however you need to make people’s lives better  _ now _ ,” Happy replies. 

“You’re right, of course. I guess I just needed someone to tell me that.”

“Okay, well, this is your permission. Now go think of something with that big brain of yours.”

Peter nods and heads off to his work station. Everything is fairly limited, but he figures that he can make it help with some basic tasks. He knows that sometimes MJ struggles with things like the TV or her phone, even with everything the doctors have provided. It’s really not much, but Peter feels like he has to do something.

So, he spends the next few days working on the tech and trying to keep it a surprise for MJ. If things end up not working out how he wants them to, he doesn’t want to disappoint her. It’s a struggle, especially since he wants to at least say something, but Peter knows that he’s doing the right thing. Thankfully, MJ doesn’t push, even though she knows that something is up.

A few days later, Peter is fairly confident that he has everything working well enough to put into MJ’s apartment. Even though it doesn’t feel like much, he hopes that it helps her more in her daily life. Working on this for her has made Peter realize all of the small tasks that he takes for granted, like turning on the lights or switching channels on the TV.

As he heads to MJ’s apartment, Peter feels nervous, wanting MJ’s approval on what he made. There’s a small, irrational part of him that thinks that she’ll be angry at him for whatever reason, but he hopes for the best. She’s always been understanding of him when he brought her things, and he has a feeling that now will be a similar thing.

* * *

When Peter comes to visit MJ today, she can sense that he’s up to something. She can’t quite figure out what it is, but he definitely has something up his sleeve. There’s a possibility that it might have to do with his internship, considering that he’s spent more time at Stark Industries than usual. That doesn’t really help her figure out what’s going on, but it bumps up her curiosity even more.

“So, uh, I hope you don’t mind, but I worked on something for you and I didn’t really consult you first,” Peter says nervously. “But I thought it might help you around the apartment a bit more than what you have.”

MJ scrunches her eyebrows in confusion. “What is it?”

“Well, I got these scrap pieces from an old prototype Tony worked on ages ago, and it’s all voice activated tech. They’re here to help with just some basic things, like turning on the lights and the TV,” Peter explains. “I have to install them on what they’re intended for, but I figured it would still be nice to have.”

“That’s...that’s amazing Peter,” MJ says softly. 

“I know it’s not much, but I figured that it would still help a little bit, you know?”

“No, this is great, I promise! It’s honestly one more thing that I can do that I couldn’t before,” MJ says. “When can you start installing it?”

“Uh, well, I was thinking I could do it now if you wanted me to. I brought everything just in case.”

“You say that like you think I wouldn’t want it.”

Peter blushes. “I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries or anything. Like...I didn’t want it to come off the wrong way or anything.”

“I promise you didn’t do anything wrong. Now, the sooner you get it all installed, the sooner we can make sure it works.”

Peter smiles, and opens his bag, revealing that it’s filled to the brim with the tech. MJ feels her excitement start to bubble over. She knows that these are small things, and that she’ll still need help with a lot of things, but to be able to do something like turn on the TV by herself is something she’s excited about.

It takes Peter a little over an hour to make sure everything is installed correctly, but he makes sure to explain everything as he does it. Apparently the pieces were meant for robots that were meant to be companions, but they never made it past the first prototype. As much as MJ would have loved to have seen that vision come to life, she’s grateful that it means she gets some extra help in her daily life now.

“There, everything should be ready to go now,” Peter says, after fiddling around with the TV. “So, this should be able to turn on with your voice, as well as being able to change the channels and mess around with Netflix.”

“God, this is going to be a lifesaver,” MJ sighs. “Now I can annoy my mom by staying up all night to watch TV again.”

Peter laughs. “That sounds like a good plan, and I’m sure she won’t be mad at me for helping with it at  _ all _ .”

MJ smiles a little bit at that. It’s something that she never figured that she would miss arguing with her mom about, but she does miss it. There are so many small things that MJ finds herself missing that feel like they shouldn’t be a big deal, but they are. 

“I’m pretty confident that this should work, but feel free to test it out,” Peter says.

“Do I just say like...television on?” MJ replies, awkwardly.

With that, the TV turns on, even if it takes a moment to register what MJ said. She lets out a surprised laugh, not actually having expected that to work. But here she is, watching the TV turn on because of something she did.

“This is going to be amazing, Peter,” MJ says, grateful. “And yes, I know it’s not much, you don’t have to keep telling me that. But this is great, and I’m so happy you did this for me.”

“I’m glad,” Peter says, relief evident in his voice. “Now, as much as I’d love to watch TV, I do have some math homework I had to bring over.”

“Oh, that’s...not as exciting,” MJ laughs.

They spend the rest of the afternoon working on homework, enjoying each other's company. Peter leaves right before dinner, so he just misses Madeline. MJ feels lonely for a moment before she remembers that she can go watch TV on her own now. Smiling, she heads over and turns it on, with no particular show in mind. For a few minutes, she just flips through the channels, figuring out how much she can do.

“Now, what’s happening here?” Madeline inquires, making MJ jump.

“Oh, I didn’t realize that you were home,” MJ answers. “But Peter stopped by for a little bit today to drop some stuff off.”

“And would this stuff include whatever he did with the television?”

“Um, maybe.”

Madeline laughs. “Looks like you’re going to stay up all night binge watching shows again, aren’t you?”

“I told Peter that would be an issue,” MJ replies, smiling a little.

“Now, what exactly did he do?”

MJ explains what Peter did, and Madeline looks excited about it all. Even with all of the independence MJ has been slowly gaining, Madeline knows that things have still been difficult. And they both know that being able to turn on the TV or turn off a light won’t solve the things that MJ has been struggling with the most, but it still helps.

“Well, I’m glad that Peter was able to do that for you, sweetheart,” Madeline says softly. 

“Me too,” MJ whispers.

Things continue on in a similar fashion for MJ, but with the added benefit of being able to watch TV whenever she wants to. Peter still seems a little bit distracted, but he says that he’s working on something important at his internship. And in usual Peter fashion, he nervously skirts around the topic, so MJ drops the subject. He can never keep a secret anyways, so she knows that she’ll end up hearing about it soon enough.

When Peter comes into her apartment one day with a large bag, and a meek look on his face, MJ knows she’s going to get all of her questions answered. She figures that it’s something cool that he built that Peter wants to show off.

“So...do you care to explain what’s in the bag?” MJ inquires when Peter doesn’t say anything right away.

“Uh, well, you see, Tony still had plans laying around for those bots he scrapped, the ones I used for your voice activated tech. Since they’re not going into production like...ever, Pepper said that I could try building one for personal use if I wanted to,” Peter explains, nervously. 

“You built an entire robot?” MJ asks, excited. “That’s pretty cool.”

“Uh, yeah, it is! And it has similar voice activated tech since they’re the same thing, but I made it to help you,” Peter says.

“To help me? How?”

Peter huffs. “It’ll be easier to show you. Give me a second to get it set up.”

It takes Peter a second to get the bot out of the bag, and MJ takes that time to look at it. Her first impression is that it looks fairly inconspicuous and sleek, although that shouldn’t be too much of a surprise considering who designed it. Once Peter turns it on, it lights up a little and starts floating.

“So, I don’t have the voice tech turned on  _ quite _ yet, but that’s mostly so I can tell you what it does first,” Peter says. 

“This is amazing! How long did it take you?”

“Uh, well, a few weeks. I really didn’t have to do much besides assembly.”

“That’s still pretty impressive.”

Peter blushes. “Uh, thank you. Anyways, the bot can only still do simple tasks, but it’s more than what I gave you before. This can grab things for you, open doors, turn things on, stuff like that.”

“So like...it could get me food from the fridge?”

“Yeah, or get you a glass of water. I mean, it can’t feed you, unfortunately, but it can grab them,” Peter explains. “But it can grab things, which I feel like...might help.”

“Might help? This will help  _ so _ much, oh my god,” MJ says, in disbelief. “Can we try it out?”

So, they spend the next thirty minutes messing around with the bot, and MJ figuring out how much she can make it do. She also learns that it prefers to be called P90, and that while it can’t do everything, it still does more than she can do now. It’s hard for her to not feel excited and hopeful about this.

“I’m sorry it can’t do more, but I figured it would still be nice,” Peter says once they start working on their homework. 

“I know it hasn’t been that long since the accident, but this is more than I thought I would be able to do. I was never really expecting to get to a point where I had something that could do all of this for me,” MJ explains. 

“You’re right, but I guess I still feel like I need to fix all of this,” Peter whispers. 

“I know you want to, and as much as I would love something that would magically take all of this away, that’s not going to happen. You’re doing more than I could ever imagine.”

Peter smiles sadly. “I guess I still blame myself a little, which I know I shouldn’t. But I still think about it more than I should.”

“I get it, because I do the same. Thinking about it isn’t going to change anything, though. And what you’re doing now is amazing and something you should feel proud over.”

“You’re right,” Peter whispers. “I promise I will, I just need some time.”

“Good, I’ll hold you to that,” MJ jokes. 

Peter lets out a surprised laugh as Madeline comes in. When Madeline sees the bot, she does a double take before giving them a questioning look.

“And what is this?” Madeline inquires. 

“Uh, well, this is P90, one of Stark’s old robot prototypes. It’s voice activated and I made some adjustments so it could help MJ around the apartment some more,” Peter explains. “Most of its capabilities are pretty simple, but they still can do quite a few things.”

“Well, now isn’t that something,” Madeline says, a little amazed. “Why don’t you show me what it does.”

Once Peter leaves after dinner, Madeline and MJ are sitting by the TV, watching some romcom series. Even though he had insisted that the bot was relatively simple and still won’t be able to do a lot, MJ still feels excited. This gives her some independence back, and lets her mom worry a little bit less about helping her. 

“That’s quite an amazing thing that Peter brought over,” Madeline says. “Does it always stay on though?”

MJ snorts. “What, are you not used to just having a robot staring at you?”

“Well, yes, of course I’m not used to it. But if it needs to stay on, I supposed I could get used to it.”

“I think Peter said there was a switch to turn it completely off, but I don’t remember where it was. There was just...a lot to take in.”

Madeline laughs. “I can only imagine. I can get used to it, though, especially if it’s going to help you out.”

MJ just rolls her eyes, before looking back at the TV.


	4. Chapter 4

_ “There are all these moments you don’t think you will survive. And then you survive.” — David Levithan _

With all of the new tech that MJ has received, she starts to settle into a new routine. Now that she has a bit more independence, Madeline has been leaving her alone for a bit longer to work. It’s not a great system at the moment, but MJ feels hopeful now that she knows what to expect and has stuff to assist her in small tasks.

There’s still moments where she feels isolated and lonely, though. As happy as she is that her mom and friends are able to start getting back to their old routines, it does mean that MJ is left alone for long periods of time. Most times, she’s able to manage it since she still has school work to keep up with, but it’s hard when the only interaction she has is with a robot.

“Are you sure that you’re okay?” Madeline inquires one day after she comes back from work. “You’ve just been a little more quiet than usual.”

“I mean...I guess so, but it’s hard seeing everyone just go back to normal,” MJ explains. “I feel like I don’t have much to do sometimes.”

“Is there anything I can get you? I know you haven’t been to the bookstore in a while,” Madeline replies. “Maybe we could try going there together.”

This is the first time that MJ would really be leaving the apartment for something other than a doctor or physical therapy appointment. Even though MJ knows she should be excited at the thought, it scares her for some reason.

“Do you not want to?” Madeline asks, obviously confused.

“I...I don’t really know. I haven’t really gone anywhere in my wheelchair yet,” MJ answers. “But it should be fine, right?”

“I would hope so, but I can go to the store first to grab you something if it makes you feel better,” Madeline says. 

“Thank you,” MJ replies softly.

When MJ sees her therapist a few days later, she decides to bring it up. She wants to know how irrational her fear might be, or if it’s actually based in something. If MJ has nothing to worry about...well, she should theoretically get around easy enough, especially with her robot.

“I guess I just feel like I should be jumping at the chance to go somewhere on my own. Like, it’s been months since I’ve been able to do that,” MJ explains. 

“Well, it would be your first time since the injury, wouldn’t it? And New York is a big city, it’s already overwhelming when you don’t have to worry about navigating in a wheelchair,” her therapist replies. “The world is also not always set up easily for disabled people, it can be tricky to navigate sometimes.”

MJ sighs. “That could be it, I suppose. I think I’m just scared of things not working out and then not having anyone there to help me.”

“It’s a very understandable fear to have. I’m sure the doctors and your physical therapist would agree that even with all the tech you have, it’s probably best to not go places alone anyways. There’s still so many new things to navigate that it’ll be a bit longer before you get complete independence, much less feeling confident in that.”

They spend the rest of the session talking about steps MJ can take to start learning the extent of her independence, as well as what she’s comfortable with. By the end, MJ feels exhausted from being so open emotionally, but she feels better having talked about it. As it turns out, it’s probably for the best that she had that conversation when she heads to her next doctor’s appointment.

“Good to see you again,” says Doctor Smith. “Now, I have some news that might be pretty important.”

“Oh?” Madeline inquires. 

“I hope this doesn’t come as too much of a surprise, but we think that MJ might be ready to go back to school in person. You’ve been doing well navigating places with your wheelchair, and with the added assistance of the bot, it would be a possibility,” Doctor Smith explains. 

“Really? I just...I guess I wasn’t totally expecting that,” MJ replies. 

“If you don’t feel ready for it, then you don’t have to go, but it is something we think you’re ready for. And you go to school with your boyfriend, correct?” Doctor Smith asks.

“Yeah, I do,” MJ answers.

“Things might be easier if he can help you go to classes and get set up. And it might help calm some of your nerves as well,” Doctor Smith says. 

“I want to think about it for a bit longer,” MJ says quietly. “It’s something I haven’t really thought about too much, if I’m being honest.”

“Sounds good, just make sure to keep us updated so that we can change any check-up times,” Doctor Smith replies.

“Of course,” Madeline replies.

They talk a little bit more about physical therapy and finishing out all of MJ’s appointments. After their goodbyes, they head back to the apartment, both fairly quiet. MJ is mostly considering what it would mean going back to school after missing the first couple of months of in-person classes. It’s a lot to consider and she’s unsure of what she wants to do.

“You look lost in thought, dear,” Madeline says after they get back inside. “Are you thinking about what the doctor said?”

“Yeah, I just...I don’t really know what to do. It would be great to have classes again, but the last time I saw everyone was at the school trip we all took. I was still  _ walking _ then,” MJ explains. “And I don’t like the thought of having to explain what happened over and over again to people who never talked to me before anyways.”

Madeline frowns. “That’s completely understandable. And if you want to finish this year out online, I’m sure we could get that approved.”

“I guess I just feel like I’m making some sort of mistake if I don’t go back.”

“Well, how about you finish this semester online, and we can check back how you’re feeling at the start of the new one.”

“Do you think this wheelchair has four-wheel drive? Like...I have to go in the  _ snow _ ,” MJ groans. “This was never an issue before.”

“If it doesn’t, maybe Peter can figure something out,” Madeline says, smiling a little.

MJ snorts. “Yeah, I’m sure he’ll figure something out in no time.”

When Peter comes over a couple days later, MJ explains the situation. She knows that if she decides to go back to school she’s going to need his help more than ever. It’ll be difficult navigating the school in a wheelchair, along with making sure she has the proper accommodations set in place. Even though she’s sure Peter would be more than willing to help, she doesn’t want to assume.

“So...you’ll be able to come back to school?” Peter says after MJ explains. “I’d love to have you back if you want to go.”

“I’ll be super dependent on you, and Ned if you can’t be there. I know I have P90 to help, but they can’t help me with everything.”

“I’m sure it’ll be hard, but if it’s what you want to do, we’d both be more than happy to help.”

“I still have to think about it, okay? I haven’t made my mind up yet. It’s a lot to take in, especially if I have to get to school in the snow.”

“Well, I’ll be here to help however I can,” Peter says.

They don’t talk about it anymore, and it doesn’t get brought up again as MJ gives it some serious thought. When she brings it up to her therapist, they go over a long pros and cons list that helps MJ work through her thoughts on it all a bit more. As terrified as she is about people staring at her and having to answer too many invasive questions, she also doesn’t want to be alone at her apartment alone for too much longer.

In the end, MJ decides she’ll try going back to school in-person for a little while. If it doesn’t work out, she thinks that going back online should be fairly easy. It’s a big step, and there’s a lot of time spent with the school making sure that all of MJ’s classes are accessible. She really didn’t think it would be a difficult process, but it takes time making sure that all the paperwork is submitted.

When the morning of MJ’s first day rolls around, she feels extremely nervous. Her and Peter came up with a route that gets her to classes in the quickest way possible. Actually putting their plans into action feels surreal, but MJ is feeling hopeful.

“So, how are you feeling?” Peter inquires, as he walks into the apartment. 

“Really fucking anxious,” MJ replies. “I don’t really know what to do, I guess.”

“We’ll figure it out together,” Peter says confidently. “I also made sure we got late passes for our classes for the first week as well. So that gives us a bit of extra time, just in case we need it.”

“Okay,” MJ replies, shakily.

As they make their way to the school, MJ can feel her anxiety build up in the pit of her stomach. Things are going smoothly for the most part, but Peter has to help her on occasion to move around in parts of the sidewalk that aren’t completely cleared quite yet. MJ does her best to not let it get to her and pushes the problem to the side.

Once they get to the school, things seem to be going a little bit easier. People stare, because of course they do, and MJ tries to not think about it. She knew that this was likely to happen, so she doesn’t quite know why it hurts so much. 

Thankfully, getting to class is fairly easy, and it isn’t too hard for MJ to get set up in the back of class. Peter helps get her supplies all set up, along with making sure P90 isn’t speaking too loudly. Ned comes in a few moments later, and smiles brightly when he sees MJ there.

“Hey, it’s good to see you again! Peter has been complaining non-stop about the fact that he only has me to hang out with at school,” Ned jokes, sitting next to Peter.

When she looks over at Peter, he’s blushing.

“I may have complained a little bit,” Peter mumbles. “It’s just good to have you here, okay?”

MJ laughs. “Good to know.”

As the day goes on, MJ finds that things are going about as smoothly as she expected them to. There’s a couple cases where navigating the different classrooms is difficult, but she’s hopeful that things will work out eventually. It’s only her first day back, and it’s not surprising that there’s a learning curve for everyone involved.

By the end of the day, MJ is feeling exhausted. This is the first time in a long time where she hasn’t spent most of the day alone, or just with her mom and Peter. She’s excited to be learning in-person, but she forgot how overwhelming it can be. Thankfully, Peter doesn’t ask if she wants to go anywhere and just takes MJ straight back to her apartment.

“I’m so happy there’s no homework,” MJ groans as they settle into the living room. “I just want to eat and go to bed.”

Peter snorts. “Yeah, I don’t blame you. At least it’s a short week this week.”

They spend the rest of the afternoon hanging out and figuring out a better plan for tomorrow. Now that they got to see how their plans worked today, they made some adjustments. MJ is still worried about some of her class setups, but she decides to try and not worry about them too much, hopeful that the teachers can make some changes. 

Over the next couple of days, MJ starts to get used to how her days are going to start looking. There’s some moments where she wants to just revert to online school again, but she has a feeling that’ll only manage to make her feel more lonely than before. Now that she gets to see Peter and Ned on a daily basis, it’ll be hard only seeing them after the school day. 

But it’s hard when there’s so many small things getting in her way during the day. As accessible as things are, there’s still small things that MJ has a hard time working around. There’s times where it’s hard to get to the desk she needs to be at, and it’s hard to move through everyone during passing periods. It’s even hard to find good tables to sit at during lunch.

One of the worst things, though, is seeing everyone act even weirder around her than before. People suddenly seem to have forgotten how to talk to her, even though they’ve hardly acknowledged her before. There seems to be a certain amount of coddling that appears to happen, especially with her teachers. They don’t seem to get that even though she can’t move around the same as before, it doesn’t mean she isn’t as smart.

It’s frustrating and it’s the one thing MJ isn’t sure how to deal with. She knows she can talk about it to Peter and Ned, but it won’t change anything. And it’s not like she feels confident enough to call her teachers out on it. So, she lets it slide, and does her best to try and manage everything else she can try and fix. Peter picks up on her annoyance one day, however, and it’s hard for MJ to vent about it.

“I know I can’t do a lot of things now, but it doesn’t mean I’m a different person,” MJ complains. “Like yeah, I’ve changed because of the injury, but not in the way they think. It’s like they think just because I can’t move, they have to treat me like a child.”

“I’m sure you’ve already thought about this, but have you thought about talking to them about it?” Peter inquires hesitantly.

MJ snorts. “Yeah, but I feel like it would take them too long to understand, you know? And honestly, it’s just for a semester, I think I can handle it for that long.”

“But you shouldn’t have to deal with it,” Peter replies, frowning. “Nobody should have to deal with that from their teachers.”

“Yeah, but like...I can’t even really put into words what they’re doing. I really just think they don’t know how to act around me anymore,” MJ explains. “So, they act like I’m someone who can’t do things, despite proving them otherwise.”

“If there’s anything I can do, please let me know. I want to help you however I can, and if it means talking to your teachers…” 

“I promise I’ll come to you, okay?”

Peter smiles. “Okay.”

* * *

As happy as Peter is to have MJ back at school with him, it’s hard seeing her struggle. There’s so many small things that have been piling up in making her day hard to deal with. He wants to help as much as he can, but he also knows that there’s only so much he can do. Throughout the day, Peter helps her with the more physical things, like pushing her over a curb or getting set up in classrooms that don’t have a proper set up. But he can’t always be there to emotionally or mentally support her.

No matter what he does, Peter knows that he’ll never be able to truly understand what MJ is going through. Even though Rhodey has been there for her when she needs someone besides her therapist to talk to, MJ doesn’t really have anyone else to talk to. And even then, Rhodey can only do so much as an older guy. Despite everything, Peter knows that MJ wants to find a community where she can really feel like herself and have people  _ truly _ understand the struggle.

Peter ends up going to May to talk about it.

“I just...I want to help her, but I don’t know how to,” Peter complains. “Like I’ve been able to help with the bots and everything, but that’s only so much.”

“You can’t do everything,” May replies. “I know you want to, but sometimes it’s best to focus on what you do best. And MJ knows that you’re doing your best.”

“But I want to do better,” he whispers. “It’s just...it’s hard seeing her struggle with something and not really being able to do anything that helps in a meaningful way.”

“Do you think Rhodey has any suggestions?” she inquires. 

Peter shrugs. “He didn’t have anything that he thought MJ would actually like. But he said he would try and keep an eye out just in case.”

“Have you...I don’t know, considered looking something up online?”

“Not really,” Peter answers awkwardly. “I kind of skimmed some websites, but I wasn’t sure what was good.”

“Shouldn’t she be making those decisions?” May inquires, a bit of scolding in her voice.

“I...yeah, you’re right,” Peter sighs. “I just wanted to see what was out there first, you know? Like see if there was anything she might be interested in. And that was stupid because MJ can make her own decisions.”

May smiles. “I know you want the best for her, but decisions that involve her should probably be made by her. It’s why she complains about her teachers so much.”

“I know,” Peter says softly. “I just wanted to make things easier.”

“Well, next time you have a chance to talk to her, bring up the search you started. But make sure she’s okay with it.”

“Yeah, of course.”

* * *

It’s three weeks into the semester, and MJ feels herself growing more and more frustrated with her situation. As helpful as Peter has been in helping her adapt to attending school in person, things still feel a bit difficult to deal with. Getting set up in her classes has been a bit easier as teachers have adapted their classrooms, but things still quite aren’t as easy as she was expecting them to be.

Peter comes by one day, looking a little meek, meaning that he’s done something he probably shouldn’t have. All this does is spark MJ’s interest, wondering what kind of trouble he’s managed to get himself into. She doesn’t say anything, waiting for him to spill everything.

“I - well, promise you won’t get mad at me?” Peter asks awkwardly. “I started doing something and then I realized it was dumb of me to do.”

MJ gives him a confused look. “What did you manage to pull off?”

“Nothing!” Peter exclaims. “Uh, not really, anyways. But I remembered how you told me that you wanted a community, you know? Like other people to connect to that are in a similar situation to you. And I started looking stuff up online, and then I realized...I shouldn’t be the one doing it for you.”

“I - oh, that’s...not as bad as I was expecting,” MJ replies, laughing a little bit.

Peter blushes. “Really?”

“I mean, usually, you’ve gotten wrapped up in a lot worse things than trying to help me find other people who are in a similar situation.”

“Yeah, but I did it without asking you or even seeing what you wanted.”

“Agreed, that isn’t that great, but you meant well. And I’m glad you were honest about it,” MJ replies. “But don’t do it again, okay? If I find the right people, I want it to be something I did.”

“Yes, of course,” Peter replies. 

“Did you find anything, though?”

“I - uh, no, not really. But you should look because I felt really overwhelmed, but that’s probably because I didn’t know what to look for.”

MJ smiles. “I appreciate the help.”

Peter laughs a little, and MJ lets the subject slide. The thought of finding other people online wasn’t a bad idea, and she knows the second she has a chance, she’ll try looking for something. Even if she doesn’t really find anything that she likes, at least she would have given it a chance.

It isn’t until a few days later that MJ finds herself on YouTube, looking up videos for one of her classes. In one of the videos, she notices that one of the related videos is titled ‘A Wheelchair Q&A’. She’s intrigued, especially considering that she never really thought of Youtube as an option to see other people like her, even if it’s an obvious answer.

MJ ends up watching the video and gets sucked into a bunch of other videos like it. She ends up finding several other quadriplegics who run their own channels. There’s something comforting watching their videos and scrolling through the comments. All of this is a reminder to her that MJ isn’t alone in her struggle, and there’s so many other people in her situation.

After a particularly hard day in classes, she watches a few videos from one of her favorite channels, and feels a bit better after watching them all. It then sparks an idea on her mind. She’ll definitely need Peter’s help if she wants it to happen, but it’s something that he should be able to do, considering he built an entire robot from scratch for her.

She finally gets the chance to ask him a few days later while Peter is just hanging out at her apartment.

“You...want to start a YouTube channel?” Peter asks. 

“Yeah, it’s amazing watching these other people talk about their own experiences and building their own communities. I think it’s something that would really help me,” MJ explains. “And it feels like a great way to talk to other people who just  _ get _ it, you know?”

“That’s a really great idea,” Peter says. “So you’ll need some help with the camera set up and everything, right?”

“Yeah, is that something you could do?”

“Most definitely. I’m sure I could rig up a voice activated camera to help with recording. Editing might be a bit harder though,” Peter says, frowning. “But I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” MJ snorts.

It takes a few days, but Peter finally manages to get a good camera set up and is able to get it going for MJ. He still isn’t quite sure what to do for editing, and when MJ told him that he can just edit for her, he gives her a confused look.

“You’d trust me with that?” Peter inquires. “Like, I want you to be able to say whatever you want without having to worry about me seeing it.”

“Please, as if I wouldn’t show you right away,” MJ jokes. “I trust you with this, okay? You’ve been there for me every step of the way. Besides, I don’t want to really edit anything out. I want this to be as honest as possible.”

“I can definitely help with that,” Peter replies, smiling brightly. “So, is this angle good?”

MJ takes a peek at the picture. “Yeah, that looks good to me.”

Peter sets the camera back in its spot, and then MJ starts recording. She lets everything out - how the accident happened, and how she’s been coping with everything since then. Maybe it’s a bit too honest, or too much for a first video, but MJ wants this channel to be open. She wants this channel to be there for people who feel like her, who have been struggling with the same things she has.

MJ isn’t sure how long she sits there talking, but when she’s finished, she feels lighter than she has in a while. Getting everything off of her chest like this feels freeing in a way. And even though she doesn’t know where this will lead, or what it’ll become, MJ feels excited about this part of her life now. 

There’s still many things she struggles with, and probably will struggle with for a long time. But now that she has this to look forward to, it helps just a little.


End file.
